Menu for Human Types
The other day, well several weeks ago now, I had a very interesting conversation with my friend. We were driving back to her house together, when a topic that I love debating came up.
The question is simple: is it mean to tell people they are not good looking?
Now you probably are all thinking I am a brat for even proposing something so rude and insensitive, but hear me out.
Upon discussion and collaboration, my friend and I determined that there are five main characteristics that people focus on. They are:
Looks
Intelligence
Humor
Kindness
Physical fitness
By focus on, I mean how people interpret one another. Those are the five main categories that we judge people on. You know people to be really good looking, or the smart person in the class, or the goon, or someone who is constantly giving their time to others, or people that can run distances you cannot fathom. There are, of course, people who have more than one characteristic. These people are dynamic, fascinating, and truly creatures worth getting to know. However, you very rarely meet someone who has all five characteristics. Some people might reach four, but everyone has one thing they cannot attain. It is simply life. Take myself, for instance. I am smart, I give good advice and time to those in need, I can pick up nearly any sport I try, and I sometimes am able to crack a joke or two. But I am not considered good looking. And even with all of those characteristics listed, some are very debatable. My sense of humor is weak, and only a small selection of people actually appreciate it. My kindness is deep, but it is not endless. I am often very rude to people who routinely manage to piss me off. I am good at sports, but not really at running or actual fitness things. The one thing that is not really debatable is my intelligence. I never knew I was smart until recently. But I am.
Okay so my point being. You probably think I am cocky for saying I am irrefutably smart. And, especially if you are a teenage girl, you are probably pissed at me for not calling myself attractive.
But why?
I am simply stating facts. Who cares if I am not good looking? I am smart, I cannot be everything. It is not bad to lack in one area, because you are still proficient in another. Who cares if you can't throw a ball? You probably are people's number one, go-to human, and create deep human bonds. Who cares if you can't crack a joke? At least you can look in the mirror and be happy with your reflection.
Do you see what I mean? Why do we (especially teenage girls) freak out when people say something about themselves. I am average looking. Plain and simple. You do not have to yell at me and say "o my god no!!! You are so good looking!" I do not freaking care. I am good at other things. And if someone says they are not smart, instead of insisting they are something they are not, compliment them on a different characteristic that they actually acquire.
We have become so sensitive to everything. People are offended over everything, and usually more so about things that do not affect them. Like straight people who get offended by gay jokes that do not bother gay people. Or white people who yell at other white people for making a black joke that a black person thought was funny. We insert ourselves into other people's problems so intensely. Or sad teenage girls who defend other teenage girls who are simply okay with who they are. We do not need to glorify humans. It is okay to simply acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses. In fact, it is essential that we know our strengths and weaknesses, because then we know what cards to play. If you know you're smart, focus on that. If you know you are funny, make your first impressions with that. So on and so forth. We all make friends in our own ways, learn, and become okay with, how you make friends. Embrace your strong characteristics.
But, my friend respectively pointed out that you would never make friends if you told them they are ugly. Which is probably true, I guess. But, You do not have to tell them they are ugly, you just also do not have to encourage false behaviors. Say things like "shut up" instead of "o my gosh noooooo you are like the most gorgeous creature to ever walk the face of this planet like o my goodness if I could only look at one more human for the rest of time, I would look at you." Just don't waste your breath. Instead say "I wish I was as smart as you though."
I feel like this is real disjointed. But it took me like an hour to write so it successfully calmed my mind and will put me to bed, and that is really all I wanted to do, I did not really know where I was going with this. Anyway. Enjoy.
The question is simple: is it mean to tell people they are not good looking?
Now you probably are all thinking I am a brat for even proposing something so rude and insensitive, but hear me out.
Upon discussion and collaboration, my friend and I determined that there are five main characteristics that people focus on. They are:
Looks
Intelligence
Humor
Kindness
Physical fitness
By focus on, I mean how people interpret one another. Those are the five main categories that we judge people on. You know people to be really good looking, or the smart person in the class, or the goon, or someone who is constantly giving their time to others, or people that can run distances you cannot fathom. There are, of course, people who have more than one characteristic. These people are dynamic, fascinating, and truly creatures worth getting to know. However, you very rarely meet someone who has all five characteristics. Some people might reach four, but everyone has one thing they cannot attain. It is simply life. Take myself, for instance. I am smart, I give good advice and time to those in need, I can pick up nearly any sport I try, and I sometimes am able to crack a joke or two. But I am not considered good looking. And even with all of those characteristics listed, some are very debatable. My sense of humor is weak, and only a small selection of people actually appreciate it. My kindness is deep, but it is not endless. I am often very rude to people who routinely manage to piss me off. I am good at sports, but not really at running or actual fitness things. The one thing that is not really debatable is my intelligence. I never knew I was smart until recently. But I am.
Okay so my point being. You probably think I am cocky for saying I am irrefutably smart. And, especially if you are a teenage girl, you are probably pissed at me for not calling myself attractive.
But why?
I am simply stating facts. Who cares if I am not good looking? I am smart, I cannot be everything. It is not bad to lack in one area, because you are still proficient in another. Who cares if you can't throw a ball? You probably are people's number one, go-to human, and create deep human bonds. Who cares if you can't crack a joke? At least you can look in the mirror and be happy with your reflection.
Do you see what I mean? Why do we (especially teenage girls) freak out when people say something about themselves. I am average looking. Plain and simple. You do not have to yell at me and say "o my god no!!! You are so good looking!" I do not freaking care. I am good at other things. And if someone says they are not smart, instead of insisting they are something they are not, compliment them on a different characteristic that they actually acquire.
We have become so sensitive to everything. People are offended over everything, and usually more so about things that do not affect them. Like straight people who get offended by gay jokes that do not bother gay people. Or white people who yell at other white people for making a black joke that a black person thought was funny. We insert ourselves into other people's problems so intensely. Or sad teenage girls who defend other teenage girls who are simply okay with who they are. We do not need to glorify humans. It is okay to simply acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses. In fact, it is essential that we know our strengths and weaknesses, because then we know what cards to play. If you know you're smart, focus on that. If you know you are funny, make your first impressions with that. So on and so forth. We all make friends in our own ways, learn, and become okay with, how you make friends. Embrace your strong characteristics.
But, my friend respectively pointed out that you would never make friends if you told them they are ugly. Which is probably true, I guess. But, You do not have to tell them they are ugly, you just also do not have to encourage false behaviors. Say things like "shut up" instead of "o my gosh noooooo you are like the most gorgeous creature to ever walk the face of this planet like o my goodness if I could only look at one more human for the rest of time, I would look at you." Just don't waste your breath. Instead say "I wish I was as smart as you though."
I feel like this is real disjointed. But it took me like an hour to write so it successfully calmed my mind and will put me to bed, and that is really all I wanted to do, I did not really know where I was going with this. Anyway. Enjoy.
Comments
Post a Comment