The Brilliance of a Buffet

People commonly use the idiom that a person has “too much on their plate.” Meaning, their life is overflowing with obligations or hardships. Mr. Grescovich, the beloved speech teacher at Walsh Jesuit High School, famous for his pearls of wisdom, takes this saying a step further. Mr. Grescovich, better known as Coach G, challenges that perhaps a plate can never be too full. Meaning, life has potential that can never be exhausted; humans should always be aching for more on their plate of life. Coach G discusses life’s opportunities and uses the analogy of a buffet to better explain how people utilize the opportunities life presents us. People either fill their plates and life, or struggle to find food and happiness. Although he does not distinguish certain people and their actions at a buffet, Coach G’s meaning is clear: how a person acts at a buffet reveals their behavior towards life as a whole. Coach G does not specify the types of buffet attendees or how it reveals their character, but I have developed my own theory. There are three types of people who eat at a buffet: the satisfied eater, the overzealous eater, and the picky eater. Although it is just an abundance of food stretched before humans, a buffet reveals a person’s true character. The plate is a symbol for a person’s life and the food is symbolic of life’s opportunities. Regarding buffets and life, there are satisfied people, overzealous people, and picky people.

The satisfied buffet attendant fills their plate with the biggest quantities and varieties possible. They will patiently go through the line at the buffet, making sure they locate every bowl and display in the room. Satisfied eaters will begin with soup and salad, make their way through the main course, and try small samples of each dessert offered. Their plates after the meal will be squeaky clean, not a single crumb detected. Satisfied buffet eaters are hard to come across, making up only 10% of the population, as they seemingly have no idea what a stomachache is and can eat endlessly. In fact, I have only come across one satisfied buffet eater in my life: my father. My father knows how to eat, and buffets are his own little utopian island. When going to Lembo’s, an Italian buffet that my family frequents since it is near the family business, my father demolishes several plates. His first plate is salad. My father uses all three types of lettuce provided, which are iceberg, romaine, and spinach. He then dollops every topping carefully onto the bed of lettuce, from olives, to cranberries, to pepperoni, and even the obscure potato and macaroni salads. The combinations are often disgusting, but he firmly believes in taking advantage of the opportunities provided by a buffet. He then eats a bowl of wedding soup before moving on to the main course of pizza. Lembo’s cuts their pizza into slices that are only about four bites to the average human. The small size allows my father to try every type of pizza, which is around eight. My father then moves onto desert, which, at Lembo’s, consists of three types of pudding and cinnamon bread, all of which find their way onto my father’s plate. My father can eat an overwhelming amount of food without feeling sick and maintaining his joy the whole time.

My father lives his life just as he eats at a buffet. He takes advantage of every possibility life brings. When he was twenty years old, he decided to take the risk and buy a furniture store with his brother and father. His family lived in one home and housed twelve kids and two parents, all on the income of a Good Humor Ice Cream delivery man. My father worked in landscaping with his brother. The two brothers, along with their father, invested every single penny into their store. My father claims that it simply never occurred to him that the company might have failed and he would be left with no monetary wealth. Outside of business, my father finds other ways to fill his plate. He hikes nearly every night, soaking in the beauty of the land he has the privilege to tread on. He insists that his children travel the world, taking us on vacations as often as possible. He never stays at home and mopes, and God knows he does not understand my “lazy days.” He is constantly moving and appreciating life, his loved ones, art and movies, nature, and, most importantly to him, food. My father is satisfied with his life just as he is satisfied with his plate at a buffet.

The second type of buffet attendant is the overzealous eater. They go through buffets, astounded by the plethora of food, heaping massive piles of every food their eyes make contact with on to their plate. Their food is a mess, mixed into one large pile of combined flavors. They shovel the sustenance into their mouths hastily, commonly missing and creating a disheveled mess on their face. By the time they are full, half of the goods they chose are still sitting in the convoluted pool of mush on their plate. They lean back, rub their stomach, and exclaim loudly “God am I full,” the leftover potato sitting in the corner of their mouth. Overzealous eaters are the most common, making up nearly 50% of the population, but there is one particular person that stands out to me. My sister’s boyfriend of five years, Corey, could be famous for his behavior at a buffet. I had the pleasure of witnessing Corey in action at a character buffet in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World. After our waitress welcomed us and granted us permission to visit the buffet, Corey quickly pushed his chair back and nearly fell over his gleeful paced feet. He sprinted to the buffet, rushed through the line, and grabbed overflowing spoonfuls of corn, mashed potatoes, meat, bread, and green beans. His plate was roughly five inches high, his food in layers. He ate the entire plate and declared he needed more. His second round was identical to the first. Corey ate about two bites before sighing heavily, pushing back from the table, wiping off the destroyed food smeared on his cheeks, and loudly stated “O my goodness I am bursting.” Throughout the meal, Corey also consumed a large glass of lemonade. My sister, being a nutritionist, watched the entire ordeal in horror, slightly repulsed by her boyfriend’s intake of food. Corey, however, is the norm. The majority of Americans join him in this eating behavior. 

Corey’s plate at a buffet translates into real life as well. Corey went to Marietta college to major in computer engineering and play baseball. When he arrived, he swiftly made friends and was overwhelmed by the freedom and opportunities of college. He failed out after his first year and his parents made him come home to attend college. However, Kent State held the same fate for Corey. He got caught up in video games, friends, sports, and traveling, leading him to fail out of Kent State. Corey was overzealous in his obligations. He continued heaping ideas and activities on to his plate of life and overwhelmed himself to the point where the colleges had to push their chairs back and apologize, saying they were fed up with his behavior. But, Corey, being the zealous person that he is, entered a computer gild with an intense three month education, as he could not stand the idea of letting life’s opportunities pass him by. Corey eats and lives in an overzealous manner.

The last type of buffet goer is the picky eater. These petty specimen somehow manage to not find a single thing to eat in the copious bounty of food, complaining extensively about the provisions. Or, as ex-picky eater Julia Kuhrt explains the condition, “it got to the point where I started bringing my own cereal to buffets because the only good food in there was the milk.” Picky eaters often put a damper on the meal, making others feel fat for their consumptions, or simply aggravated at the closed minded eaters. Unfortunately, picky eaters make up about 40% of the population. Julia, before she overcame her problems, went to an asian buffet with my immersion trip group in Pine Ridge, South Dakota. Since we had been eating cafeteria grub for the past seven days, our group purchased the largest bowls and ate overwhelming amounts of noodles and asian vegetables. Julia, however, purchased the smallest bowl available and ate about three bites before quitting, insisting her sauce was too garlicky and simply unbearable. Julia continued to watch the rest of us eat with a look of disgust on her face, not necessarily shaming us, but in shock with us. 

Julia’s life was nearly identical to her plate and eating habits. Julia found herself spending time at home, constantly bored and lacking joy in her life. She had friends and several opportunities to get out and enjoy the beautiful life around her, she simply chose not to. Julia deliberately decided to neglect herself of the opportunities in her life and found ways to complain about the amazing path set before her. She often criticized others for doing activities that she considered outlandish. What she, and all picky eaters, do not realize, is that these “outlandish” activities bring folks joy, aiding them to live life in its fullest capacity. The picky eater lives a picky life, never allowing anything to live up to their standards, and maintaining a pessimistic view on life.

Mr. Storad, a latin teacher at Walsh Jesuit High School, says that before couples get married they should see their loved one under the influence of alcohol. Mr. Storad believes that the alcohol makes people lose their inhibitions and thus reveals their truest characteristics. He separates what alcohol reveals about people’s lives into three categories: sad, dangerous, and angry. However, for those too young for alcohol, or too young for marriage, I believe that taking your loved one to a buffet is an equally beneficial way to learn your loved ones attitude toward life. One needs only to observe a person’s actions at a buffet to see how that person’s life will unfold. If they try a bit of every food and eat their plate completely, they will always find joy in life and appreciate every aspect of it. These satisfied people will help you find satisfaction in your own life, but may lack the raw emotions of anger and sadness, which lead to a deep loving connection. Satisfied people can often be so satisfied that they become free spirits and drift away from life’s responsibilities. If the person leaves heaps of food leftover after eating a plentitude, they will overwhelm themselves with too many obligations and often be stressed or tired. However, when they spend time with you, it will be an exhilarating experience full of joy and laughter. Overzealous people’s love is often the deepest and most genuine. If one manages to not fill their plate at a buffet, they will never be happy in a lifetime full of unlocked potential. Picky people tend to be dull and critical, always belittling you and the world before them. The best way to understand a human’s inherent characteristics and attitude regarding the vast possibilities of the world before us is to take them to a buffet.